I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Classic 1990 Film: A Look Back.

The Austrian Oak is rightfully celebrated as an Hollywood heavyweight. But, at the height of his blockbuster fame in the 1980s and 1990s, he also headlined several genuinely hilarious comedies. The standout film is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35-year mark this December.

The Film and An Iconic Moment

In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger embodies a tough police officer who poses as a elementary educator to catch a killer. During the movie, the crime storyline serves as a loose framework for Schwarzenegger to share adorable moments with his young class. Arguably the most famous involves a little boy named Joseph, who out of nowhere rises and declares the stoic star, “Males have a penis, females have a vagina.” Arnold replies icily, “Thank you for that information.”

That iconic child was played by former young actor Miko Hughes. Beyond this role encompassed a character arc on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the child stars and the character of the resurrected boy in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with multiple films listed on his IMDb. Additionally, he is a regular on the con circuit. He recently recalled his memories from the production after all this time.

Memories from the Set

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.

Wow, I have no memory from being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, a little bit. They're flashes. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?

My parents, primarily my mom would take me to auditions. Frequently it was like a cattle call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all simply wait around, go into the room, be in there briefly, deliver a quick line they wanted and then leave. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, as soon as I could read, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?

He was incredibly nice. He was fun. He was good-natured, which I guess isn't too surprising. It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a productive set. He was great to work with.

“It'd be weird if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”

I understood he was a huge celebrity because I was told, but I had never really seen his movies. I felt the importance — it was exciting — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was just fun and I just wanted to play with him when he was available. He was occupied, of course, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd flex and we'd be hanging off. He was incredibly giving. He purchased for each child in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was a major status symbol. It was the must-have gadget, that funky old yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It finally gave out. I also have a authentic coach's whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your time filming as being fun?

You know, it's amusing, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a huge film, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the legendary director, the location shoot, the production design, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the original Game Boy was just released. That was the big craze, and I was quite skilled. I was the youngest and some of the bigger kids would ask for my help to beat difficult stages on games because I could do it, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all childhood recollections.

The Line

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember how it happened? Did you understand the words?

At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word shocking meant, but I understood it was edgy and it caused the crew to chuckle. I understood it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given special permission in this case because it was funny.

“My mom thought hard about it.”

How it was conceived, from what I understand, was they were still developing characters. Some character lines were written into the script, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they refined it on set and, presumably it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "I need to consider this, I'll decide tomorrow" and took a short while. It was a tough call for her. She said she wasn't sure, but she thought it could end up as one of the iconic quotes from the movie and she was right.